Goodbye to a Friend

Writing is therapy…. Blogging is good for your soul… that’s what I’ve been told. If it is so, today I want to be selfish and be strong for myself.

In my life funerals have been a negative feeling that I’ve always avoided. My father and mother funerals’ where the ones, I of course, had to see all the way. Yes, death is evitable for us all. Yes, everyone goes to a better place. Yes, God loves us all…. yet for those left behind parting is such sweet sorrow.


Koi (Mohd. Shukor Tahir) was in my Malaysian Idol 1 team of 2004. Being Saggitarians with a joy for life we bonded almost instantly… and because I used to lecture everyone, he called me mother (I have many titles in different circles – sifu, cikgu, mother, jtho). Through the years that title stuck with him and we became firm friends. Not acquaintances, not business associates, not mentor and protégé but friends. We shared the same likes/dislikes, we share the same sense of humor…. I treated him like my son and he treated me like a mother.

And though we haven’t really known each other for very long I always knew that Koi was constantly looking for acceptance from other people and peace within himself…. which I know he had with me... which I know he had with my team. Thoughtful, considerate, fun loving, opinionated, never forgot birthdays and a roving soul. That was Koi.

Perhaps it was because I feel that it was too soon, perhaps it’s because there were so many things left unsaid, perhaps it was too sudden. But the reality is, he’s gone and we are all left to grieve our loss and trying to come to terms with what has happened.

Sayu terpisah
Hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah
Berhembus angin rindu
Begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu


Hujan lebat mencurah kini
Bagaikan tiada hentikaulah
Laguku kau irama terindah
Tak lagi kudengari

Kau pergi.. pergi..

Once again life has humbled me and taught me something new, a feeling of losing someone that shouldn’t be gone before me, that has so much life to live. But the choice is not our… it never is.

Goodbye my friend… I won’t look back now… I’m going to close the door but I’ll NEVER forget… and when the time comes I WILL remember….

Peace, Love and Respect forever,
Jenn