Goodbye to a Friend

Writing is therapy…. Blogging is good for your soul… that’s what I’ve been told. If it is so, today I want to be selfish and be strong for myself.

In my life funerals have been a negative feeling that I’ve always avoided. My father and mother funerals’ where the ones, I of course, had to see all the way. Yes, death is evitable for us all. Yes, everyone goes to a better place. Yes, God loves us all…. yet for those left behind parting is such sweet sorrow.


Koi (Mohd. Shukor Tahir) was in my Malaysian Idol 1 team of 2004. Being Saggitarians with a joy for life we bonded almost instantly… and because I used to lecture everyone, he called me mother (I have many titles in different circles – sifu, cikgu, mother, jtho). Through the years that title stuck with him and we became firm friends. Not acquaintances, not business associates, not mentor and protégé but friends. We shared the same likes/dislikes, we share the same sense of humor…. I treated him like my son and he treated me like a mother.

And though we haven’t really known each other for very long I always knew that Koi was constantly looking for acceptance from other people and peace within himself…. which I know he had with me... which I know he had with my team. Thoughtful, considerate, fun loving, opinionated, never forgot birthdays and a roving soul. That was Koi.

Perhaps it was because I feel that it was too soon, perhaps it’s because there were so many things left unsaid, perhaps it was too sudden. But the reality is, he’s gone and we are all left to grieve our loss and trying to come to terms with what has happened.

Sayu terpisah
Hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah
Berhembus angin rindu
Begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu


Hujan lebat mencurah kini
Bagaikan tiada hentikaulah
Laguku kau irama terindah
Tak lagi kudengari

Kau pergi.. pergi..

Once again life has humbled me and taught me something new, a feeling of losing someone that shouldn’t be gone before me, that has so much life to live. But the choice is not our… it never is.

Goodbye my friend… I won’t look back now… I’m going to close the door but I’ll NEVER forget… and when the time comes I WILL remember….

Peace, Love and Respect forever,
Jenn

26 years and Counting

After months of not updating my biodata I decided to pull it out and add what I had done last year and the beginning of this year. After all I’ve been nagging the rest of the team to do it so yeah, a poor attempt at leadership by example (Grin). I make sure that everyone in showbusiness does this because after a while (2,000 shows later) you cannot remember what you did where and who did what. This is the only testament to your work (apart from pictures which I NEVER have time to take when I’m working) that you can ever have.

This is when I realize this is my 26th. year in the business and what a ride it’s been. I’ve met so many people, done so many things and learnt so much over this time (and still continue to do so). And have watched 3 generations of Artistes and musicians pass… it really is amazing.

The story is always the same…. talent and unrelenting passion, …. From Sharifah Aini, Alleycats, Alphonso Soliano to Sudirman, Khadijah, Mike Bernie, Freddie Fernandez to Search, Lefthanded, Ramli MS, Aziz Bakar to Ella, Ziana to Sheila Majid, Siti Nurhaliza, Mac Chew, to Innuendo, Raihan, Tony Fernandes, Ahmad Izham Omar to Meet Uncle Hussain, Hujan, Bunkface. The list is endless and always inspiring.

I have served them all without fear or favour because of their talent, because of their passion… when you work around it, it drives you and makes you want to do your best. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Recently I was given the chance, yet again, to do something different. It was indeed an honour to be chosen to work on the “Konsert Satu Suara” project in Istana Budaya, working together with the next generation of talent, Aizat and Faizal Tahir. This is a new era of talent who are not only singers and performers but composers and musicians in their own right. I can only say one word… supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

They both have a very different styles but share the same passion, the same hope.

With the added pressure of working with Istana Budaya… the show was by no means perfect but we all knew the expectations and whatever it is everyone gave their best… that sometimes is the most important thing. We are all not perfect, we are all still learning…

On the last day the end of the show … I gave everyone, especially Aizat, sorry :), and myself a shock…. I cried, big time… that was how much pressure I felt doing the show… that’s how perfect you want the outcome to be… that’s how much it matters… even after 26 years, even after 2,000 shows….

That’s why I say sometimes people don’t understand the type of pressures the Artistes, Musicians and Production Crew go through. They may have had a personal crisis, they may not feel well but no matter what when the curtain goes up the show MUST go on….. and thru the 26 years I’ve seen it all… After all we only get one gratification… the applause of the audience and the happy faces that go home after the show… NOTHING else matters.


The Show must go on! I'll face it with a grin! I'm never giving in! On with the show!

Peace, Love and Respect always,
Jenn